


Burn baby burn

by Royaltae



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Attempt in Humor, Flirting, Fluff, Lowkey Crack, M/M, One-Shot, Possible grammatical mistakes as usual, Unreliable methods on putting out fire, ash and shorter texts each other useless shit and i believe that that is canon, ash cant cook, ash falls in love at first sight like he always does, ash is shirtless for like the entire fic and eiji does not falter, ash's entire life is embarrassing, asheiji, eiji is still a pole vaulter here, eiji with sweater paws, same for eiji, this is what u should not do when your kitchen’s on fire, title is from that one bp song because i'm so creative, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 06:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17657381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royaltae/pseuds/Royaltae
Summary: Ash is starving and can't cook for the love of god.And so,he sets his kitchen on fire.OrThat one AU where A sucks at cooking and sets off the smoke alarm and B the neighbour comes to the rescue and oh shit he's cute and now I'm the one on fire.





	Burn baby burn

It’s Saturday morning and Ash’s feeling groggy, snarky and absolutely starving. He didn’t had the chance to eat dinner last night,what with him having to work extra time to cover the stupid employee that ran away for a date with his stupid girlfriend. He really hates his job.

 

With a groan,he kicks his blanket away( _“just like an angry kitten”_ a voice that sounds suspiciously like Shorter’s sounded in his mind and he scowls even further)and shuffles to the kitchen in nothing but sweatpants.

 

He opens the refrigerator door with more strength than needed,stumbling back a little when he almost got smack in the stomach and peers into it.

 

Nothing.

 

He sees nothing.

 

He slowly closes it back and slumps to the floor. Right,he forgot. As much as he hates to admit it,he’s completely useless in terms of cooking. Hence,the empty fridge because he never ever bothered to attempt to cook for himself—always opting for deliveries instead. Really,he only bought the fridge for the sole purpose of sticking his head into the freezer when the summers got unbearable.

 

With a deep sigh,he reaches up to ruffle his hair(which is most probably looking like he came out of a tornado) in frustration and looks over at the coffee machine. He received that machine as a birthday present from Shorter—who had rung the doorbell at least sixty-five times at the asscrack of dawn(even though he has the keys to Ash’s apartment)and shoved the coffee machine at the very confused Ash and ran off(but not before turning back again to scream _“happy birthday bitch!”_ at the top of his lungs and Ash had to deal with the humiliation he was left with whenever his neighbors threw him weird glances in the elevator)

 

He feels a headache forming just at the mere thought of that memory and finally pushes himself up from the floor before his mind wanders even further.

 

 

Coffee it is then.

* * *

 

Not even an hour later,legs propped onto the footrest and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose as he watches the news on his phone,Ash’s stomach lets out the fifth grumble and he can no longer ignore it.

 

He opens a new tab on his browser and searches for _“quick and easy breakfast recipes for beginners”_ and as an afterthought,adds _“without cooking”_.

 

He scrolls through the results quickly,wanting to hurry-up and decide on a recipe already because he’s convinced that he could die of hunger anytime soon. But all of the recipes look either way too gross or the instructions were too complicated for him to comprehend at eight in the morning despite having the words _“Really simple!!”_ And _“Absolutely no cooking needed!”_ written as part of the title.

 

He switches his phone off and heads back to the kitchen,opening the door of the fridge again in one last desperate attempt. He makes sure to check every corner and compartment this time for _something,a broccoli,potato,onion, anything_ —

 

And then he sees it—hidden at one corner of the fridge door.

 

An egg.

 

An egg given to him by Max’s son,Michael,when the family came over to his apartment for a visit a few days ago. He feels a sense of immense guilt when he reaches for it—mind and heart saying _no_ but his stomach screams(or growls) _yes_.

 

Ash stares at the egg in his hand,internally sending an apology to Michael for the injustice he may bring to the egg.

 

But desperate times calls for desperate measures,right?

 

He slams the fridge back and grabs the frying pan that he had never used before in his entire life and wouldn’t have thought that he would use one day.

 

He would just have to buy another egg to replace it when the family comes over to visit again some other day.

 

If there was even a house to visit after this,that is.

* * *

 

It all happened within the span of one minute and ten seconds.

 

At first,everything was fine and dandy and Ash was feeling quite confident even— _way too confident._

 

Aside from nearly burning his fingers off from turning the gas stove on,Ash managed to crack the egg into the pan without any eggshells falling in after a whole ass 15 seconds.

 

Also thank fuck for non-stick pans because he clearly doesn’t have a single drop of oil in his poor excuse of a kitchen.

 

He smiles proudly at himself when he hears the egg sizzling,turning around to grab his phone.

 

Shorter was sending him cat gifs and memes and one of them had Ash rolling his eyes.

 

 

**Shorter Wong:**

 

**This is u trying to make toast in the mornin**

**-8:26**

 

 

Ash sends an emoji of a middle finger and a ‘ _bold of you to assume that I have bread at home’_ before replying:

 

**Me:**

 

****

**This is u in your tinder profile trying to impress people**

**-8:30**

 

**Shorter Wong:**

**Fuck you**

**-8:30**

 

 

And then,that’s when everything went down to shit.

 

Ash had been laughing at Shorter’s reply,about to send him another emoji when he leans back way further than he should have,causing his left elbow to bump into the handle of the pan and he full on _panicked._

 

He threw his phone somewhere behind the counter and scrambles to grab ahold of the pan to prevent it and his only breakfast from free-falling to their death and he lets out a sigh of relief when he managed to save it. But that sense of victory was short-lived because he realizes that his egg is in fact _burning_ and the panic was rushing back to him and in his mind of confusion and _fuckfuckfuckfuck_ he channels his inner non-existent _Gordon Ramsay_ and did those fancy throwing-your-food-into-the-air motion to flip his egg because he doesn't have a spatula _(oh god why does he not have a fucking spatula)_ and _and_ —

 

To his absolute fucking horror,the egg falls directly into the burning stove and Ash watches as the hungry flames rushed to feed on _his breakfast_ ,consuming it whole. And ash could only silently cry as the egg slowly disintegrates( _sorry Michael)_ while the fire got larger and larger and then there's smoke and then the smoke alarm is ringing and then there's very loud knocks on his door and then there's someone shouting from outside—

 

Ash drops the pan and rushes to open the front door…

 

...to see a young boy with ridiculously large doe eyes staring up at him,face full of worry and concern.

 

“Hi,”the boy greets. “I'm your neighbor and uh,I think the ringing is coming from your apartment?” As if on cue,the ringing grows louder at that. “Is everything alright?”

 

 _Everything's fine._ Ash wants to say,but both him and the boy and anyone with half the brain cells would know that a burning kitchen is anything but _fine_.

 

“Uh—no?”he replies unintelligently instead,daring a glance behind his shoulder and nearly has a stroke when he sees the smoke traveling out of the kitchen. The boy notices that too and lets out a soft gasp,pushing Ash out of the way and into the crime scene.

 

“Hey!”Ash calls out as he follows the boy.

 

“Shit,” he hears the boy curse and was about to reply with a _“I fucking know right?”_ before he runs out of Ash’s apartment and returns three seconds later with the largest fucking _pot_ he has ever seen in his entire life and proceeds to cover the flames with it so smoothly and calmly that it seemed like he did this every other day on a regular basis.

 

The boy then turns the gas stove off and Ash moves to do the same to the smoke alarm,which,he hopes didn't wake the entire neighborhood up.His reputation is already bad enough as it is,thank you very much.

 

When the smoke finally clears,Ash returns to stand at the boy’s side as the latter slowly lifts the pot up. As expected,the egg is nowhere to be seen save for one lucky piece of egg white dangling from the stove.

 

Ash winces at the sight.

 

“What happened?” The boy asked and Ash could feel his cheeks going red at the obvious laughter the other is trying very hard to contain.

 

“Please don't ask,I don't even want to think about it”

 

The boy lets out a giggle at that and Ash turns to the sound. During the midst of his near-death experience,he hadn't notice how...how cute his neighbor was. Aside from his large cartoonish eyes,the boy also has a very round button nose,very _very_ soft cheeks,a _very very_ angelic laughter and oh my god are those _sweater paws?_

 

“Sorry,you remind me a lot of a friend of mine who oftens does...questionable things in the kitchen as well.”

 

Ash huffs at that,crossing his arms across his chest.

 

“I was just trying to cook breakfast,”he mumbles quietly.

 

“Well of course,what else would you be doing in the kitchen?” The boy grins cheekily,raising an eyebrow. Ash blinks at him.

 

“Oh my god,” he reaches to smack the other’s shoulder in a playful manner. “Shut up”

 

The boy only laughs further at that and Ash relishes the sound of it.

 

“Well,”he says in between laughter. “I guess your breakfast's a gone case…”

 

 _Ash_ ,he wants to say. But he just knows that the boy would make a pun out of it. So he settles with _Aslan_.

 

“Aslan,”the boy repeats,lips curling up into a smile. “I like your name.”

 

 _And I like the way you say my name,_ his brain helpfully comments.

 

“I'm Eiji. Eiji Okumura—I moved in last week.”

 

 _Eiji._ _A perfect name for a perfect boy._

 

“Oh uh,welcome. Nice to meet you,”ash replies pathetically and he’s pretty sure that now _he's_ the one on fire. So much for first impression—though,that's already thrown out the window long ago when his kitchen was on fire.

 

Eiji nods,hair bobbing from the action and Ash is an absolute _mess._

 

 _I want to ruffle his hair_ ,his brain helpfully comments once again.

 

“So Aslan,”Eiji begins,tilting his head to the side as he smiles up at him. “Want to come over to mine to have breakfast?”

 

 _Is he flirting with me??_ He thinks to himself,heart beating faster and he quickly pushes that thought out of his mind before he can make a fool out of himself(probably too late though). He decides to be brave then,leaning forward a little and smirks.

 

“Do you invite every neighbor who burns down their breakfast to your house all the time?”

 

Ash instantly loses all the smugness he had the moment Eiji puffs out his cheeks and blows a raspberry at him,leaning forward a little as well from the action and Ash feels his breath hitching.

 

“You’re just lucky that my sister went out before she even had the chance to eat her breakfast so there’s an extra portion. It’s nothing much really—just some avocado and shrimp salad. I’m an athlete see,”

 

_An athlete?_

 

Ash’s gaze traces over the other’s body and that’s when he realizes that Eiji has _very very toned legs_.

 

_Oh. My god._

 

“So I have to keep a healthy diet,”Eiji lets out a sigh. “It’s okay if you don’t want to though. I’m not forcing you or anyth—”

 

“No!” Ash practically screeches and they both look at each other in shock. Eiji looks like he wants to laugh again. He quickly clears his throat,ears burning. “I uh—I mean yes. Yes,I would love to.”

 

“Great!” Eiji cheers,reaching over to take his huge-ass pot. “I’ll see you in a bit then.”

 

Ash follows him to the front door,confused. “I can just go now..?”

 

Eiji blinks at him then,eyes trailing down to Ash’s chest. He looks down.

 

_Oh._

 

_His very bare chest._

 

Ash flushes and quickly turns away to run to his room,tripping over his own feet mid-way. He’s embarrassed—but he hears Eiji’s angelic laughter again from behind him and he thinks that it’s worth the humiliation.

 

* * *

 

(It’s the best breakfast he’s ever had)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ash being dumb when it comes to cooking and Eiji is my absolute favourite concept.


End file.
